"It seems you can't hear me, when I open my mouth you never listen"

Do you think we are drawn the same type of people?

I have always been friends with people who see my friendship as convenient. I have always been the friend that people call when they: need advice, need a ride, need money, need to be bailed out, need a shoulder to cry on. You see my point, they call when they NEED something. But when it comes time for me to need something.... Nada, nothing, zip.

Am I just use to being treated this way that when I'm in a new place in my life, I am drawn to the same type of friend? Deep down, I like being the person that someone can count on and trust but it would be nice to have someone like that in my life as well.

I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to talk to someone about what's going on in my life and when I finally work up the nerve to say something, they make it about themselves, they fall asleep, they aren't interested, or they find something better to do? What is that about.

I am getting tired of being every one's "convenient" friend. I used to shrug it off and accept it for what it was, after all I am use to it, but recently shrugging it off hasn't been so easy...

"I use to be a little bit shy, kept my deepest feelings inside"

Here's the thing... I have never been good at expressing my emotions. Recently I have had a lot of things weighing on my mind. So I thought if I can't tell my family and friends what's going on, why not try telling total strangers.

When you see Authorized Personnel Only on a sign, you wonder what is behind that door. That is what I want people to think when they see my blog. I want them to wonder what is behind those words. I may be scared to share these thoughts with the people in my life but I am excited to share them with you.

I am new at this whole blogging thing so just bare with me. At times this blog may suck. Please feel free to tell me that. I hope most of the time this blog will be entertaining and something you enjoy.